Last year in high school starts soon! September 10th. I need to finish my homework. I hate homework. I can't believe we're going back to school again. Another year of tediousness, boredom, stress..
Last first day of K~12 school.
Last homecoming.
Last SAT.
Last AP testings.
Last Sadies.
First/last prom.
Last year of secondary education.
It's all coming up this year! Many memories to make. Many.
All the '08~'09 seniors are leaving pretty soon. I mean, all the Cal students left today/are leaving tomorrow. Soon, almost everyone's going to be leaving. I know we're going to see them again and things might not even change that much, but I think the reason I feel sad about it is because everyone honestly is moving on?
In five years, people will be in their mid-twenties and will undoubtedly be very different people.. Five years ago, I was such a naive, young, dumb child. Five years from now, I'm going to think I was naive, young, and dumb as a seventeen-year-old, haha. People change so much! I personally don't mind change like some do. Sometimes, I really enjoy change (ex: changing up my room, my hairstyle, my interest in music genres, moving, etc.). But I don't know! There are obviously some things that I really don't wish would change.. I feel so comfortable being with the people around me right now, it's really difficult to imagine that I'd be with different friends?acquaintances? when I'm in college and when I'm older. And because I'm in such a comfort zone at the moment, I'm disappointed that people are..moving..away. It's such an unnecessary feeling, to feel sad about this since we'll keep in touch (hopefully?), but I can't help it.. Ugh, I'm being sappy again.
I wonder if the people I'm friends with now and I will drift apart so much that if we were to meet again years later, I'd feel awkward and not know what to talk about with them. I hope not.. sigh.
8.20.2009
8.13.2009
Haircut day
I went to a savvy (Korean) hair salon today (technically yesterday) for my haircut. Since my mom told me that the hairstylist she booked me with was pretty fluent in English, when I went up to him, I spoke in English (naturally). We were getting along pretty fine, speaking in English, although his seemed a bit broken and pretty heavily accented. Then we got onto the topic of whether English was my first language and when I told him I came from Korea, he asked me in Korean when I came to the States. I replied, in Korean as well (to somewhat prove to him that I can understand/speak Korean I suppose), that I came in 3rd grade. Then he said, "Well, English is basically your first language then.." I shot back saying that no, Korean is, but he went onto ask that there are a lot of things in Korean that I don't know, right? And of course, I said right...
I was pretty disheartened though.
I'm not going to lie: before sophomore year, I was somewhat anti-Korea/Korean heritage/Koreans. The Korean fobs annoyed the hell out of me, the Korean actors/actresses seemed too meh for my taste, the Korean music was too tacky, and I pretty much wanted to be like my white friends from middle school: tall, "pretty," and so... American. But after sophomore year, when I surrounded myself with Korean people in Korean 4 honors, and after junior year, when Spencer updated me every single minute he was online with Korean entertainment news, I began to appreciate. My brother and my perspectives in our cultures totally swapped with each other. Before sophomore year, I was anti-Korea and Kevin was pro-Korea, chastising me and saying things like, "Korea is so great! You should be proud to be a Korean." Now, whenever I listen to Korean songs, my brother would roll his eyes, pretend to gag, and ask me why I enjoy Korean entertainment when I'm a resident of the great United States. Is it so wrong for me to enjoy things from my homeland? to want to become completely fluent in my first language so that I can be considered an excellent bilingual?
No! It shouldn't be. I feel like I'm trapped in a gray area. When I'm around white people, I want to show off that I can be just as American as they are. When I'm around Korean people, I want to show them that I can speak Korean, understand what they're saying, know (some of) the things they talk about. It really sucks.
Other thing that really sucks is my lack of self-control. After Shannon's low-carb diet, I've been wanting to cut back on some carbs as well. I'm not doing too bad, really, but there are those times when I think, 'Ah screw it, I'll just eat less later'. Or 'This will be the only thing I'll eat today since it has a bunch of carbs anyway'. Do I need to have Jessica Alba or Son Dambi tattoed on the back of my hand or something? to keep me from grabbing fatty foods? Gah, I need to discipline myself. RESIST.
Getting my hair cut was refreshing. My head feels lighter. My hair feels healthier. The only weird part is that when I run my fingers through my hair, I'm pretty disappointed that I meet the ends of my hair strands so quickly. I guess I miss running through my long hair the most. But other than that, change has come! I shall start my life anew!
I was pretty disheartened though.
I'm not going to lie: before sophomore year, I was somewhat anti-Korea/Korean heritage/Koreans. The Korean fobs annoyed the hell out of me, the Korean actors/actresses seemed too meh for my taste, the Korean music was too tacky, and I pretty much wanted to be like my white friends from middle school: tall, "pretty," and so... American. But after sophomore year, when I surrounded myself with Korean people in Korean 4 honors, and after junior year, when Spencer updated me every single minute he was online with Korean entertainment news, I began to appreciate. My brother and my perspectives in our cultures totally swapped with each other. Before sophomore year, I was anti-Korea and Kevin was pro-Korea, chastising me and saying things like, "Korea is so great! You should be proud to be a Korean." Now, whenever I listen to Korean songs, my brother would roll his eyes, pretend to gag, and ask me why I enjoy Korean entertainment when I'm a resident of the great United States. Is it so wrong for me to enjoy things from my homeland? to want to become completely fluent in my first language so that I can be considered an excellent bilingual?
No! It shouldn't be. I feel like I'm trapped in a gray area. When I'm around white people, I want to show off that I can be just as American as they are. When I'm around Korean people, I want to show them that I can speak Korean, understand what they're saying, know (some of) the things they talk about. It really sucks.
Other thing that really sucks is my lack of self-control. After Shannon's low-carb diet, I've been wanting to cut back on some carbs as well. I'm not doing too bad, really, but there are those times when I think, 'Ah screw it, I'll just eat less later'. Or 'This will be the only thing I'll eat today since it has a bunch of carbs anyway'. Do I need to have Jessica Alba or Son Dambi tattoed on the back of my hand or something? to keep me from grabbing fatty foods? Gah, I need to discipline myself. RESIST.
Getting my hair cut was refreshing. My head feels lighter. My hair feels healthier. The only weird part is that when I run my fingers through my hair, I'm pretty disappointed that I meet the ends of my hair strands so quickly. I guess I miss running through my long hair the most. But other than that, change has come! I shall start my life anew!
8.04.2009
Racism Question Mark
Last Sunday was the long awaited Interact Bon(d)fire. Kim, Joanne, Theo, and I arrived there at 8:30 AM and because it was cloudy, glum, and a bit sprinkling, there was literally nobody else at the beach except one other group that was saving their fire pit. I had slept at 4 in the morning due to (procrastinating on) working on the posters for the bonfire that would let people know where we were. THE JOY of being the publicity director! I love it.
Anyway, we were able to save two fire pits since around 60 people were supposed to come to this event. The West High Interact board finally got everything situated by 2pm: the two EZ-up tents, the table, the food, the drinks, the trash bags, the firewood, the getting-sand-out-of-the-pits dirty ordeal. It was incredibly exhausting actually.. And Dockweiler is so dirty! So so dirty because of the ashes that mix with the sand. I hate Dockweiler. I hate birds. I hate seagulls! I hate beach bathrooms, too. So sick.
It was around 4pm (when people were supposed to start arriving) when they came. The ignorant, disrespectful bullies. When Joanne, Nicole, Jenna, and I came back from the Dockweiler beach entrance to put up the beautiful posters that I made that morning, we saw basically the entire Interact board posse at our 2nd reserved pit arguing with a huge group of Mexican people. Someone informed us that they were trying to take our pit since nobody was actually at the pit even though our stuff was all near it. Even though basically everyone was at the 2nd pit arguing with the huge scary people, I just.. stayed where I felt safer. Yeah. But when I did walk over, I heard Julie and Joanne arguing like crazy, saw the rude people putting their own wood into the pit that we labored for an hour over trying to get all the sand, coal, glass, and nails out. Since they were the adults, and we were the teenagers, they basically bullied us because they knew we were incapable of really doing anything to them.
You know what, long story short: bullies came, took our pit, angered Interacters, Interacters& Katie Horton's mother& a Rotarian who was supervising this event were mad determined to get back at them, seriously called the cops, cops drove in their SUV to come talk to both our groups separately, two of the bullies started walking toward us, cops stopped them, had a discussion in between the two pits, cops sided with us (since we were honestly here until the early morning trying to reserve two pits for a reason), bullies were >:|, they moved, we got both pits, some people felt bad for them, and that was the end of that.
I asked my mom after that crazy dramatic ordeal if she would've moved if we told her and her adult friends if she was in the bullies' situation. She said yes. OF COURSE, RIGHT? HONESTLY, who freaking wouldn't? Yeah, there were no other fire pits, but would anyone honestly start cursing at us, putting their own wood into the pit disrespectfully, and ignoring us and completely zoning us out? Oh, why I outta... Sigh, and I feel that if they were a different race, things might have been different.
I mean, not at the actual things that went down. But I feel a little uncomfortable telling the story because I'd have to say "these Mexicans blah blah blahed." Or I wouldn't have to say "these Mexican people" per se, but I feel like just saying "these people blah blah blahed" doesn't tell the entire story? As if telling the race makes people view things differently? But.. I always feel that some people may take it as some racist statement when talking about what Mexicans or black people did. It just sounds insulting for some reason. And I feel like people would envision things differently if they heard what the Mexican people did as to how they might view things if they heard a group of white people had done what they did to us. If you get what I mean.. What a complicated situation to describe. But I guess it's only complicated because I don't want to sound racist..
Ah, the next post will be happier.
Anyway, we were able to save two fire pits since around 60 people were supposed to come to this event. The West High Interact board finally got everything situated by 2pm: the two EZ-up tents, the table, the food, the drinks, the trash bags, the firewood, the getting-sand-out-of-the-pits dirty ordeal. It was incredibly exhausting actually.. And Dockweiler is so dirty! So so dirty because of the ashes that mix with the sand. I hate Dockweiler. I hate birds. I hate seagulls! I hate beach bathrooms, too. So sick.
It was around 4pm (when people were supposed to start arriving) when they came. The ignorant, disrespectful bullies. When Joanne, Nicole, Jenna, and I came back from the Dockweiler beach entrance to put up the beautiful posters that I made that morning, we saw basically the entire Interact board posse at our 2nd reserved pit arguing with a huge group of Mexican people. Someone informed us that they were trying to take our pit since nobody was actually at the pit even though our stuff was all near it. Even though basically everyone was at the 2nd pit arguing with the huge scary people, I just.. stayed where I felt safer. Yeah. But when I did walk over, I heard Julie and Joanne arguing like crazy, saw the rude people putting their own wood into the pit that we labored for an hour over trying to get all the sand, coal, glass, and nails out. Since they were the adults, and we were the teenagers, they basically bullied us because they knew we were incapable of really doing anything to them.
You know what, long story short: bullies came, took our pit, angered Interacters, Interacters& Katie Horton's mother& a Rotarian who was supervising this event were mad determined to get back at them, seriously called the cops, cops drove in their SUV to come talk to both our groups separately, two of the bullies started walking toward us, cops stopped them, had a discussion in between the two pits, cops sided with us (since we were honestly here until the early morning trying to reserve two pits for a reason), bullies were >:|, they moved, we got both pits, some people felt bad for them, and that was the end of that.
I asked my mom after that crazy dramatic ordeal if she would've moved if we told her and her adult friends if she was in the bullies' situation. She said yes. OF COURSE, RIGHT? HONESTLY, who freaking wouldn't? Yeah, there were no other fire pits, but would anyone honestly start cursing at us, putting their own wood into the pit disrespectfully, and ignoring us and completely zoning us out? Oh, why I outta... Sigh, and I feel that if they were a different race, things might have been different.
I mean, not at the actual things that went down. But I feel a little uncomfortable telling the story because I'd have to say "these Mexicans blah blah blahed." Or I wouldn't have to say "these Mexican people" per se, but I feel like just saying "these people blah blah blahed" doesn't tell the entire story? As if telling the race makes people view things differently? But.. I always feel that some people may take it as some racist statement when talking about what Mexicans or black people did. It just sounds insulting for some reason. And I feel like people would envision things differently if they heard what the Mexican people did as to how they might view things if they heard a group of white people had done what they did to us. If you get what I mean.. What a complicated situation to describe. But I guess it's only complicated because I don't want to sound racist..
Ah, the next post will be happier.
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