Love and splendor

I read an article from Psychology Today that explained why procrastinators procrastinate. I realized that I'm an "avoider": one "who may be avoiding fear of failure or even fear of success, but in either case is very concerned with what others think of them; they would rather have others think they lack effort than ability." It's so true, though. Three things I fear the most are pitch-dark darkness, heights, and failure. Fear of failure is exactly why when I dream of my future, I just can't seem to think in somewhat realistic terms; I only dream of my future self as being a career-driven, successful person because I don't want to picture myself as being a mere salesperson or a housewife (definitely not a housewife). I feel like my biggest goal in life is to succeed. Well, my definition of "succeeding" is very general though. To me, earning a fairly high salary equals success at life. So whether I'm a human resources manager, a hotel manager, a journalist, an entrepreneur, a wedding planner, or whatever I want to pursue when I'm older, as long as I make $$, I'm satisfied.

The "wedding planner" bit brings me to my next point that ties in with my "procrastination" intro. Recently, I don't even know how, but I came across this wedding coordinator's blog. Her blog is basically composed of pictures of her clients' weddings and I was just blown away by the happiness of the pictures. And seriously, the girl's got talent; she is creative and whimsical and ahh! I just love weddings! And the photography is so beautiful, I'm always so awed by all the details and colors. And I'm not going to lie: I'm pretty sure I spent more than an hour on her wordpress just looking at all the photos of her weddings and such. Just look at them. I mean, WOW. I LOVE WEDDINGS. I can't wait until we're all grown up and I'm invited to my friends' beautiful weddings. I really can't wait.

Photography taken from Love and Splendor.

Now I want to become a wedding planner...

But on another more "present" note:

I submitted my UC applications yesterday and it felt pretty good. I just like knowing the fact that I'm progressing and getting things turned in. The list of colleges I'm applying to (and don't you dare be like someone I know and be like, "Why would you even apply to that school..."):

Syracuse University

Boston University

Northeastern University

The George Washington University

Villanova University

Southern Methodist University

Seattle University

Pepperdine University

UC Irvine

UC Santa Barbara

CSU Long Beach

I feel like my list of colleges that I applied to aren't really "reach" schools, but I'm okay with that? I kind of feel like I'm not applying to "reach" schools because like I said, I hate failure... And being rejected to schools = ouch. I don't want to waste money on colleges that would reject me. So my list satisfies me.

I seriously cannot wait until it's mid-April. By then, I'd know where I am going probably, and that'll put such weight off of my shoulders. I'll be able to totally play afterwards. I CAN'T WAIT.